The life of a roadie

continued

Being a roadie could be a once in the lifetime opportunity and you can’t let this chance pass you by. You say goodbye to your friends, and they don’t quite understand, but you know you’re doing the right thing. You tell Brad Donavan that you’ll do it, and he introduces you to the band.

“Connie plays the drums, Monty’s on the bass, ‘The Count’ plays lead guitar, Jeffrey is our acoustic guitar, Chaz is on hand-claps, Lisa rocks the keyboards, ‘Joe-dog’ takes care of rhythm harmonica, and I’m on lead harmonica and vocals. Welcome to the family!”

You’re surprised how many people are in the band, confused about their instrumentation, but optimistic about the Digital Dracula show. Their van is tiny. Nine people with all their gear and luggage make this the most uncomfortable ride you’ve ever endured. ‘Joe-dog’, the rhythm harmonica player, is shouting on his cell phone to someone about how much he hates touring. It’s only the third show on their first tour. Brad throws a fit and starts crying at a gas station until you agree to pay for the gas. To make matters worse, you need to drive 300 miles in 3 hours to get to Gumble City in time for the sound check.

You show up late and are told you can only play for 15 minutes…..if you can set up quickly. The capacity crowd grows restless and ready for Digital Dracula to ROCK THEIR FACE OFF! No one cares that Apologetic Reply are gearing up to do their own brand of “rock-stylings.” Band members are rushing all over the stage to get set up. The crowd snickers at the matching outfits the band are wearing to show their solidarity. Brad is frantically combing his hair and chain smoking. After everything is set up, and with no sound check, there are only six minutes left to show this crowd what APOLOGETIC REPLY are all about.

Brad boldly grabs the microphone. “Hi, we’re Apologetic Reply, all the way from Plainfield.” The music kicks in and right away you realize that these guys aren’t good at all. The rowdy crowd quickly reacts to the band by yelling and throwing things. Half way through the second song Brad starts cussing and crying. The music comes to a stop and he stumbles off stage. The crowd is laughing and taunting the rest of you. You silently load the van together without him. Brad shows up moments after the work is done.

“BAND MEETING!” he demands. “I’m out. Tonight I was humiliated. None of you are as musically aware as I am. The crowd loves me… but they hate you guys,” Brad says in disgust.

Chaz jumps in Brad’s face. “We don’t need you Brad! You’re such a baby! We’re gonna finish this tour without you.” Suddenly Chaz turns to you. “Will you replace Brad and be our new singer? We can teach you the songs on the way to the next gig.” Brad sternly grabs your arm and whispers to you, “You wanna be the manager for my solo project? I’ve been writing a bunch of new stuff.”

What’s it going to be?!

Become Apologetic Reply’s new singer?

~OR~

Become Brad’s new manager?

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2 Responses to “The life of a roadie”

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